The Decoy Bride (2011)

There's something about this 2011 romantic comedy that I love. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I really, really do. Perhaps it's the Scottish accents, or the British humor, or the fact that it stars David Tennant as the milquetoast fiance of the world's most beloved actress, but it's a film that I've watched many times. The mood hits me and I turn it on (and never regret it). If you love all things British and like intelligent RomComs then this is one not to miss.

The movie starts with 'the Wedding of the Century,' where Lara Tyler (Alice Eve) is getting married. She emerges from a building, face hidden by her veil. Her adoring fans scream in delight and paparazzi are everywhere. She climbs into a car and drives away. Shortly afterward another bride emerges, and then another, wedding dress and veil in yet another color. Everyone wants pictures of her upcoming nuptials and the telly and the papers wonder if author James Arber (David Tennant) is the one. Arber is the author of one book:  The Ornithologist's Wife, and Lara absolutely loves it. As the movie continues, we learn that the book is verbose, self-important and huge (probably 1,000 pages or so) and not very successful.

We switch to the chapel, where Lara's publicist, Steve (Michael Urie), and his assistant, Emma (Sally Phillips), have arranged the real wedding. Steve is quite pleased with his cleverness (over the multi-bride scheme) and asks if there's any sign of Marco Ballani (Federico Castelluccio). Who's Marco Ballani? Only Lara's most dogged paparazzo, who is so dedicated to getting his shot that he's been hidden in the church's organ for several days (illustrated by the bottles of urine at his feet). Lara walks down the aisle to 'Panis Angelicus' -- what a song to choose, 'Bread of Angels' -- and immediately discovers him. She grabs a candlestick and chases him out of the church. Lara vows not to lose to "that disease of a man" and declares that they're going to have to go somewhere "crazy remote" to get married.

You might think this is their story, a rehash of Notting Hill, where an ordinary man loves a megastar actress, but it's not. This is not their love story. The start of the movie is there to introduce us to the main obstacle to our one true pair living happily ever after: he's engaged to someone else, a someone who is one of the most popular and beloved actresses on the planet. Cue Ingrid Michaelson's "Be OK" and the island of Hegg. Our heroine, Katie Nic Aodh (Kelly MacDonald) is on a boat, riding towards the island. She looks crushed, lost. As Hegg comes closer, she looks down at her engagement ring and chucks it into the ocean.

Battleship (2012)

Someone out there decided that since Hasbro's Transformers was such a money maker, they should adapt other Hasbro toys into full-length motion pictures. This genius not only included Battleship, but Candy Land, Monopoly and Stretch Armstrong (according to Wikipedia). (Clue was also in there, but there's already been an awesome film made in 1985, so anything else would be a retread, or a bad Sherlock Holmes/Hercules Poirot rip-off.) Thus cometh 2012's Battleship.

Going in, I was cautiously optimistic. I mean, they're making a movie based on a plastic board game that's been around since the late 60s. Who hasn't played Battleship at some point? Unfortunately, the idea that it was going to be lame was an understatement.

We start by meeting our hero, Lt. Alex Hopper, played by Taylor Kitsch. At the time, Kitsch was the "It" boy because of his performance as Tim Riggins in 'Friday Night Lights,' and this movie was expected to be one that only helped in his climb to the top. Uh, no. This and the movie bomb that is 'John Carter' pretty much tanked things. But I'm digressing, which is easy to do. The film is pretty forgettable.

Pacific Rim (2013)

KAIJU (kaiju, Japanese) Giant Beast.
JAEGER (yagar, German) Hunter.

Our movie starts with a man saying, "When I was a kid, whenever I'd feel small or lonely, I'd look up at the stars. Wondered if there was life up there. Turns out I was looking in the wrong direction. When alien life entered our world it was from deep beneath the Pacific Ocean. A fissure between two tectonic plates. A portal between dimensions. The Breach.

The voice puts off a feeling of toughness, but I don't buy it. I guess I'm skeptical... or just intolerant of movies that ask me to leave my brain at the door.

Our narrator proceeds, with film images to illustrate, how huge creatures, Kaiju, began emerging from the rift. (It takes out the Golden Gate Bridge!!! Not just part of it, but the *whole* thing.) The Kaiju are pretty impervious to our military technology -- not like the alien ships in 'Independence Day' -- and it takes them 6 days to kill the first one. But more keep coming. (Dun, dun, dun!) The world bands together, "throwing aside old rivalries for the sake of the greater good." And the Jaeger program was born.

What's the Jaeger program? Huge robots that operate through a neural interface with a pilot. They're so huge that only *two* human minds can handle the "neural load," right hemisphere, left hemisphere. (So is one pilot more artistic and the other more analytical?) And Jaegers are only as successful as the people who pilot them.

Jaeger pilots turned into rock stars. Danger turned into propaganda (not at all like what's happening in the US today - wait? is this going to be some political commentary?).  And Kaiju became toys (literally, where they were no longer scary). Then it all changed. (Not really, but since the world revolves around Raleigh, it did.)

Willow (1988): Just a Lesser Retread of Star Wars?

I first saw Willow years ago and I loved it. Val Kilmer was dashing as Madmartigan and Joanne Whalley was beautiful and hardcore as the Prince Sorsha. Good battled evil and good eventually won. Warrick Davis starred as the titular Willow. It had magic and its message was positive: believe in yourself.

Its reception by critics was mixed. One thing that made it remarkable were the special effects. Lucas was always good at that and his company, Industrial Light and Magic, came up with some new tricks to show Fin Raziel's transformation back from an animal to her human form. Bavmorda's two-headed dragon was pretty fantastic (maybe not in retrospect, with advances in special effects, but when you're a kid, your imagination makes up for any shortfalls).

My Rating: 7/10

Roger Ebert gave it 2.5 stars. He felt like the story was "turgid and relentlessly predictable. Not much really happens, and when it does, its pace is slowed by special effects set pieces that run on too long and seem to be recycled out of earlier movies."

V for Vendetta (Revisited)

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

This 2005 tour-de-force by director James McTeigue really resonated with me when I first saw it, and it resonates with me still today. Based on the 10-issue comic book series by Alan Moore, the film asks you the question: What would you do to stand up to tyranny? and What really *is* a terrorist?

The movie opens with Guy Fawkes.  The name might sound vaguely familiar... vaguely. Every November 5th, the Brits shoot off fireworks and burn his effigy in celebration of his failure to blow up King James I and Parliament. He wasn't alone -- he had 12 co-cospirators -- but his is the name and identity that has become synonymous with Catholic extremism in the 17th century.

A calm, somber voiceover - Evey, our heroine - opens the movie with the first few lines of "Remember," a poem about Fawkes and the Gunpowder plot:

"Remember, remember, the fifth of November,
The Gunpowder treason and plot.
I know of no reason
why the Gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot."

Light slowly starts in a corner as Evey asks: "But what of the man? I know his name was Guy Fawkes, and I know in 1605, he attempted to blow up the houses of Parliament.  But who was he, really? What was he like?" Barking dogs and we see Fawkes captured as Evey continues: "We are told to remember the idea and not the man... because man can fail. He can be caught. He can be killed and forgotten. But 400 years later, an idea can still change the world."