In the beginning there was nothing...
We see an image of the serpent, slithering forward. Temptation led to sin...
Image of the apple (even though the forbidden fruit *wasn't* an apple, except in religious tradition), a hand picking it, sound of someone eating it
Cast out of Eden, Adam and Eve had three sons:
CAIN, ABEL and SETH.
Shadowplay of Cain killing Abel
Cain killed Abel
and fled to the East,
where he was sheltered by a band of fallen angels:
The Watchers.
Huge mishapen disjointed rock creatures (there's no way that these things would legitimately live if they were real)
These Wachers helped Cain's descendants
build a great industrial civilization.
Say what? Since when was the technology of Noah's era industrial?
Elizabethan-looking city grows and grows (like there were that many people...)
It reminds me of a plague.
Cain's cities spread wickedness, (Cain's still alive then?)
devouring the World.
The blight of Cain's people spread across the land (that looks a lot like Pangaea, something that broke apart 175M years ago)
Only the descendants of Seth
defend and protect what is left of Creation.
Today, the last of Seth's line becomes a man. (What about Lamech's other sons and daughters?)
The action starts...
Lamech recites Noah's heritage (and is played by the Baron from AMC's 'Into the Badlands'). Dad tells Noah - as he wraps a snake skin around his left hand and arm (say what? why would they have kept a snake skin, especially if it was from the Serpent?) - that God made the world and placed it in Noah's care. May he walk along side the Creator in righteousness. There's a moment that reminds me of Michaelangelo's The Creation of Adam where they almost touch fingers (why is Lamech's finger wrapped in snake skin?). It's interrupted by a hoard of men (and some of the rock giants). Noah hides. The leader of the men declares that the land is rich with tzohar. (For more about tzohar, go here, here, and here.)
Tzohar is a stone that according to Judaic mythology, Noah used to illuminate the Ark and was passed down from Seth to Enoch to Methuselah, etc. It also 'caused' Jacob's ladder dream and saved Joseph from snakes when his brothers threw him into the pit. So Aronofsky is putting in a little Jewish mysticism...The villain of the movie -- a man who we later discover is Tubal-Cain -- strikes Lamech unprovoked. Well, I guess it was provoked because... He then goes on a rant about The Creator cursing them and he's going to take whatever he wants as a result! He strips Lamech -- who does nothing to fight back -- of the snake skin and then strikes Lamech down to *end the line of Seth.* Okay - here's where I have a problem with this whole premise. Cain's descendants seem to have bred like rabbits, but Seth's line produced 1 family? How is that even logical? Noah runs away as dramatic, alarming music plays.
The movie's already taken liberties with the story of Cain and Abel... why not Lamech and Tubal-Cain, too?Title "NOAH"
Between Seth and Noah: 926 years. (Adam > 130y > Seth > 105y > Enosh > 90y > Kenan > 70y > Mahalalel > 65y > Jared > 162y > Enoch > 65y > Methuselah > 187y > Lamech > 182y > Noah, Gen. 5)
Who knows when Cain was born, but if we use the shortest amount of time before fathering a child in the line of Seth, it was 65 years before Seth was born. So that's a total of 809 years between Cain and Lamech.
In Gen. 5, it says that Noah was 600 years old when the flood happened. It also says that Lamech lived 777 years. That means that Lamech died 5 years before the flood happened. The kid in the movie was not an adult, let alone married with children... And Tubal-Cain? The average years between generations for Seth's line is 106 years. Noah was 500 when he became the father of Shem, Ham and Japheth. 100 years later, the flood came. That means that Tubal-Cain would be 782 years old at the start of the movie. That guy did not look much older than Noah. So how can he be Noah's father's age?
We switch to Russell Crowe's Noah, who is out with Ham and Shem. Noah doesn't seem to be paying any attention to them until Ham decides to pick a small flower. Then Noah immediately tells him not to do that since they "only collect what [they] can use and what [they] need." Picking that small flower because it's pretty stops those flowers from fulfilling their purpose of spreading! (Like taking one small flower is going to stop the rest from growing and spreading.) From the beginning we see that Noah doesn't believe in moderation.
Something like a drop of rain falls from the sky -- even though biblical scholars believe that it had never rained before the flood; water swelled up from the ground -- and immediately one of the flowers sprouts (so I guess Ham picking that flower wasn't so bad, since raindrops can create the flowers without any seeds). Noah eyes it warily and calls the boys to go.
There's a pained animal noise -- an armadillo dog -- that's been wounded by a spear. Noah has the boys hide. He's is able to touch the dog, of course, because he's from the mystical line of Seth, tasked with caring for the Earth. Unlike every dog I've ever owned who is in extreme pain, this wounded animal doesn't try to bite Noah. The dog even does nothing as Noah BREAKS ITS NECK. I thought you were supposed to be stewards of the Earth and its animals. You're not even going to try to save the dog?
The evil hunters show up and immediately threaten Noah. (I guess this is Gladiator Noah, who instinctually knows how to fight even though he didn't have a father to teach him how because he was murdered when Noah was a boy.) Instead, Noah kills them for "justice." (Revenge, much? The men talked about how it had been a long time since they had eaten meat. They were only taking what they needed...) (The original script has them being much more brutal and wasteful -- resembling the way some hunters harvest ivory, tusks and flubber. Noah goes as far as declare that they're just after the horns!)
Ham is curious why they killed the dog and is shocked to hear that they eat it. So Noah's family are vegetarians... (Does this even make sense, since Abel was a shepherd and Cain was a farmer? And some of the animals were referred to as livestock?) When Ham asks why they eat the animals, Noah says that they believe it gives them strength, but strength comes from The Creator. (So, again putting in some mysticism, the heathen variety.)
They hold hands as the wrapped body of the dog burns. (Instead of burying it, which is they did when Abraham was around. Ancient Israel, they reserved cremation for idols, criminals and enemies. For more, go here, here or here.) Noah solemnly looks at the smoke floating up into the clouds.
They return home to Mom (Naameh) and baby Japheth. Noah is pensive. He tells Naameh that Ham saw the hunters and they "are getting closer." (So you protect the land by moving whenever those who abuse it get too close. Okay.) He mentions that Ham was a little too interested. (Because he was asking questions to understand why the men did what they did. So in Noah's world, faith = blind, unquestioning obedience rather than persuaded action. Legalism vs. obedience from the heart.)
Noah dreams of the snake, the apple and the rock. Strange wind is blowing and another flower-making drop of rain. Moses under the water with all the moaning dead people and animals. Because people and animals can moan underwater. Noah jumps awake.
Noah heads outside and Naameh follows him. She asks if 'He' spoke to Noah. Noah thinks so. (God, at least in the Bible, normally doesn't leave his prophesies to interpretation and normally he SPEAKS. He isn't vague. And why would Noah just connect the fall with the drowned people? That it's the result of God's wrath? Oh, right. Mystical line of Seth and magic snake skin.) Naameh asks if He is going to help them. Noah declares that He is going to destroy the world.
Isn't it great that they've made Noah more prophetic that other prophets in the Bible? God told other prophets (Samuel, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea and so forth) exactly what he meant and wanted them to say. He never left it up to chance because it was too important. The Bible even says that God spoke directly to Noah and explained what he was supposed to be doing. But that wouldn't be magical enough, a non-corporeal being speaking out of nowhere.
Noah and the family head out to find his grandfather. Naameh is worried about how hard the journey will be. Their journey takes them through barren places -- where all the trees have been chopped down and water is green with pollution. They come across an old tzohar mine -- which reminds me of Uncle Ben and Aunt Beru's place. Slaughtered people and then a crying girl. Shem finds her. (The Creator provided a wife!) She - Ila - has been stabbed in the stomach.
The marauders return so everyone has to run into the volcanic-ash-covered land. Someone yells a warning about the rock creatures, aka The Watchers, killing them. Sure enough, The Watchers are there, scare off the marauders and knock Noah out.
When Noah wakes, the family are in a pit. The Watchers arrive and have a debate about what to do with them. (Ents anyone?) They know who Methuselah is. One called 'Samyaza' wants them to kill Noah: Did they forget how men betrayed The Creator? (Um, weren't you expelled from heaven for doing just that? Take that plank out of your own eye, buddy.) The Watchers decide to leave the family in their pit until tomorrow.
Noah sings Ila to sleep. (The song refers to The Creator as Your Father - another way that the movie is biblically inaccurate, because Jesus introduced the concept of God as the Father rather than just as Yahweh.) Once she's asleep, Naameh declares that Ila will never have children because of her injury. (That will work... infertile woman responsible for repopulating the earth.)
One of the Watchers, Magog, comes in the middle of the night and helps them escape. Ever-curious Ham asks him why. Magog says that the Watchers were responsible for watching over Adam and Eve -- only watch, never interfere -- and after the fall, they pitied the couple and chose to try and help mankind. (So, Aronofsky steals from Greek mythology)
This was disobedience to The Creator so they were punished. (So, The Creator is a being who doesn't really care about man's suffering and is more interested in His own justice. Blind obedience rather than persuaded action. Wow, I'm starting to see how Noah is actually the embodiment of this film's version of God: The Creator. Cold, unfeeling, intractible.) The Watchers taught mankind all they knew of Creation, helping mankind rise from the dust and become mighty.
Then the men turned on them. (What did you expect from corrupt descendants of Cain?) Methuselah was the only one who protected them -- in his Noah-era suit of armor -- and saved a small number from being murdered. Using a magic, glowing sword which torched the land. (Again, Galdalf anyone? And how exactly did men kill *rock-covered fallen angels*?) That small number "were left prisoners in these stony shells, marooned upon this barren land." (It didn't sound like you were prisoners, what with the men fleeing the moment they saw you.) They begged The Creator to take them home, "but He was always silent."
Our rock friend explains that Samyaza (the rock-man calling for their deaths) can't accept that The Creator would talk to a man, when it is men who broke the world. (Um, Methuselah? Also, didn't *they* break the world by teaching mankind all they knew of Creation?) Rockman tells Noah that he reminds him of Adam. He leads them to Methuselah's mountain.
Noah takes Shem (and not Ham) on the trek up the mountain. (Ham is very disappointed -- I think this is going to be a consistent theme in their relationship, Noah disappointing him.) They find Methuselah (Anthony Hopkins). G-pa puts Shem to sleep with a single mystical touch to the forehead. (We haven't even gotten to the worst part of this and I am already starting to want to rip out my hair.) They talk and G-pa says that his father prophesied/declared that The Creator would annihilate this world, unless men changed. G-pa is surprised that Noah saw water instead of fire.
G-pa tells Noah he must trust that The Creator speaks in a way that he can understand. (I guess this is where Noah gets his intractability later in the film - because Methuselah told him to trust his own conclusions.) G-pa drugs Noah with his tea and Noah has another strange vision. This time the animals were swimming toward the Ark. (I 'love' how The Creator is communicating with Noah in these confusing, unclear ways. I guess it doesn't really matter to him if men -- and the animals -- survive...)
Noah declares that fire consumes all but water cleanses. "It separates the foul from the pure, the wicked from the innocent. And that which sinks from that which rises. He destroys all, but only to start again." (Must be that Seth mysticism again, because I wouldn't have concluded that from Noah's spirit quest.) It can't be stopped but it can be survived! Methuselah gives Noah a very large seed... from EDEN. And reminds Noah that God chose him for a reason.
Back with the family, Noah declares that man is going to be punished (with destruction) for what they've done to this world (and not because "every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time"). Their family had been chosen to save the innocent... the animals. Noah goes outside and plants the seed from Eden. (Doesn't water it or anything. Doesn't save it for after the flood when they'll need crops to eat. Plants it now. I thought he knew about farming.)
In the morning, the angry Rock Man, Samyaza, comes to drag the kind Rock Man away. Noah asks for help. The Creator interrupts Samyaza from punching Noah dead by causing water to erupt from the ground. The water flows like tentacles and all around them erupts a forest. Ham comes out and asks what the forest is and Noah says that it's their ark. The Rock Men decide to help Noah.
Flowing water marks the passage of time and then 2 doves just mystically know to follow the stream to where Noah is. *The Rock Men* are building the Ark. And instead of it taking probably around 60-70 years to build it (100 years between when the first son was born and the flood, giving them enough time to mature and marry), it took them about 12-13 years (judging from the age of Japheth now versus the baby we saw before). Shem and Ila are in love but Ila's wound (which is now a scar) still causes her pain. Ham is a creeper who watches them make out in the woods.
The birds arrive and Noah stoically announces that "it begins." (Why the birds would arrive *first* I don't know.) The family uses special herbs to smoke the birds and put them to sleep. (Are they planning on drugging them the whole time? The Bible says that the world was flooded for 150 days and then it took 220 days for the waters to recede. That's a year, people. Most birds eat at least 10% of their body weight each day. People in comas still need to eat.)
Ham watches Noah talk to Japheth and it's obvious that he's jealous of their relationship. Ham approaches Noah and asks where his and Japheth's wives are. (That's a really good question. You both had them in the Bible.) Noah replies: "Did you see how He made the forest to give us wood for the ark? How He sent the birds? So, hasn't He sent everything we need?" (I don't know about you, but that sounds like Ham is just out of luck. Sent everything they need, as in, it's already arrived. So Ham doesn't *need* a wife. I'm sure they meant for it to sound like God will provide it later, but it really sounds derisive.) Naaleh listens to the whole thing and says nothing.
Snakes and other reptiles and amphibians arrive. Insects. The family continues to work. Creeper Ham spies on 2 girls and is almost killed, but Tubal-Cain saves his life. He also tells his horde of men that none of them are to hurt him. Tubal-Cain fancies himself Noah's (and family) king -- but Noah has said that there can be no king in The Creator's garden. (Um -- man was thrown *out* of the garden...) TC gives Ham his axe, it still dripping with blood.
TC (and his horde) and Ham return to the Ark. Noah tells Ham to come to him, but TC stops Ham with a hand on his shoulder. He calls Ham his best soldier. (How does that make sense? You just met the kid, who didn't hear the guy sneaking up on him, had no weapon and would have been dead, and he's your *best* soldier?) Noah says that Ham is nothing of TC's and TC argues that Ham's got his axe, so that must mean something.
Noah calls Ham again and orders Ham to leave the axe. 'Because I said so.' Ham isn't happy about giving up his gift. (At no point does Noah try to work through this with Ham. He just expects to be obeyed.) TC says that the birds convinced him to come. TC declares that everything, the trees, the land, the "stronghold," belongs to him (even though it used to be barren and ash-covered). TC asks if Noah thinks his fort can protect him and Noah answers that it's not for protection from TC, but from The Creator's deluge that will wipe out the wicked from this world! (It's never rained. How would anyone know what a deluge is?)
TC scoffs -- The Creator doesn't care what happens. (Psalm 37 and 53 echo this type of thinking in the wicked.) His rant sounds familiar and Noah realizes this is the guy who killed his father. Noah declares that he's the son of Lamech! And they've all been judged!!! (Who, apparently is infamous in Cain circles, even though he's been dead for years, because the crowd recognized the name immediately.) TC fingers his weapon and is surprised that Noah's being so brave since he's all alone. Noah replies that he's not alone. (For a moment, I thought Noah was referring to The Creator, but, nope. The Rock men.)
TC whispers at Noah that if the rain comes, he'll ride out the storm in that ship. (Again, TC somehow knows what a 'ship' is, even though there's never been one before. And what rain and a storm are. And this Ark is *rectangular,* so not the best for cutting through waves.) Noah -- and Ham -- walk away with TC yelling defiantly after him. Noah looks scared. (Where's your confidence and faith in The Creator now?) Noah declares that they need to finish quickly.
TC -- dressed like a welder -- is leading his men to make weapons. Lots of pounding of hammers. Screaming people... because the animals/mammals are coming. Majestic music! (The animals just know to walk into the Ark and settle themselves. And get doped by the magic smoke that doesn't effect any human, even though it's strong enough to drop an elephant.)
Ila is worried and asks if they are in danger. She asks if the flood will be death. Noah is pensive as he answers. "Seeing that much death, I'm not sure there are words." (Again, supposed to sound reverent, just sounds pompous. Or is it just Russell Crowe's delivery.) Ila looks burdened and Noah asks why she's really there. Ila declares that Shem needs a real woman, so he can have a family! "Why would The Creator want a barren girl on His ark?" Noah tells her she's not a burden but a gift. They hug. (So Noah can be kind to everyone *but* Ham.)
Noah decides to scope out the pre-flood Gommorah. Screaming women at the hands of men. Noah follows them. I guess Noah is out for wives for his boys. But the girls are sold into slavery and the men rip apart the animals. One of the men hisses at Noah - like the snake! - and the camera pans backward to show just what a chaotic, corrupt, violent, depraved, evil place this is. Dramatic, foreboding music!!! (I must admit, that scene was pretty powerful.) Noah returns empty-handed.
Noah looks really bothered and immediately orders them to get all the supplies inside! It should have already been done. Ham is excited about his impending wife but Noah declares that there will be no wives. Ham protests and Noah ignores his legitimate upset over this forced celibacy. "You want me to stay a child!" Physical altercation! "No! I'm asking you to be a man and do what needs to be done." (Easy for you to say, Noah. You have someone to satisfy your carnal urges with.) Ham runs off and Ila chases him. Noah just walks inside.
Naameh comes and asks Noah what he's done. Noah declares that *all* of them are wicked. (True, but your minds don't think of evil all the time.) Naameh points out the boys' goodness: Shem's loyalty. Japheth's kindness. Ham's integrity. Good men. Noah responds that Shem is blinded by desire. Ham is covetous and Japheth is a people-pleaser! Both of them would choose to kill to protect their children, so they're no different. "We were weak and we were selfish to think we could set ourselves apart. We will work, complete the task, and then we'll die. The same as everyone else." (Wow. I guess God's not in control anymore. Noah is. And who's supposed to take care of those animals and keep them drugged asleep?)
Naameh asks if Noah has no mercy. Noah replies that "the time for mercy has passed. Now our punishment begins." (Let's think about the logic of his reasoning. God is going to destroy everything because of man's wickedness. But he's going to warn Noah and Family about the impeding destruction and have them build an ark to save just the animals. But no men are supposed to go on the Ark, nor care for the animals while they're on the Ark, nor will there be any men to *let the animals out of the Ark.*)
Naameh decides to go petition Methusaleh. G-pa wants his berries! G-pa declare that it's Justice. "The Creator destroys this world because we corrupted it. So we ourselves must be destroyed." (Again, this logic astounds me. The Creator could just create the animals again if that's all that he wanted. He wouldn't send them a warning.) Naamah can't believe that when she sees her sons! G-pa says that the choice is *Noah's.* (For some reason.)
G-pa declares that if he tried to help Naameh, it could cause pain and possibly tragedy. (But drowning isn't painful and the end of the human race isn't tragic.) Ham has decided to go get himself a wife. He falls into a pit with dead bodies in it and stumbles across a nice girl. The girl -- Na-el -- decides to trust him because he shares his food. He offers to help her, but she refuses, so he decides to just hang out for a bit. (I guess The Creator does provide all they need.)
Back at the camp, even though there's still a lot of work to be done, Noah sends Shem out to find Ila and Ham. In the forest, Ila comes across G-pa, looking for berries. She helps him look. He asks if she loves Shem and Noah. Of course she does. (Oh - It's only been 10 years since she joined them.) G-pa wants to give Ila his blessing. She agrees. He reaches out and strokes her stomach. Pain and then the wind blows momentously. Ila hears Shem and runs to him. She basically mauls him and then have sex. (Even though there's still much to do and there's the threat of Tubal-Cain coming.)
Dark clouds arrive. The first drop of rain hits Noah. Rain falls. (*No one* freaks out, even though no one has ever seen rain before.) Ham is cuddling with Na'el and they hurry back to the Ark. T-C declares that he is a man, made in The Creator's image. Why won't The Creator converse with him? (Um, because you're evil? Every thought in your heart is evil? And The Creator reserves his conversation for righteous men?) Clamoring crowds. Meglomaniac muttering. T-C shoot off something like a rocket and demands The Creator speak to him!!! No answer.
T-C speech about self-determination! Take the ark!
Ila and Shem arrive. Where's Ham?
Hordes charging for Noah's Ark.
Ham and Na'el running. Na'el is caught in a animal trap. Ham can't get her loose.
Noah arrives and pulls Ham away, LEAVING NA'EL TO GET TRAMPLED TO DEATH. (Are you agreeing that Noah has gone off the rails, yet?) Noah loses Ham in the crowd.
The Watchers prepare for battle - chains and clubs. Flying men! Samyaza hears Noah's yelling over the crowd (somehow) and lets Noah through. Ham has already gotten to the Ark. Armor and metal siding. (Yes, that's right. Wavy metal siding and *suits of armor* Like knight in the Middle Ages. Sure, even though this is about 890 years before Abraham, who lived about 1813-1638 BC, which means it's around 2700 BC. The Bronze Age kicked off about 2800 BC, with iron coming about 1300 years later, these men had IRON armor.) T-C and his men are also in a phalanx formation (Even though it's about 300 years before the Sumerians started doing them; they were first).
Noah decides stay outside and protect the Ark (even though they could devise a lock for the inside).
T-C has a 'gun' (even though the first device that acted like a gun was invented around AD 1000) and shoots Samyaza. Then he rams him with a spear. Samyaza topples over and is swarmed. He asks The Creator to forgive him and The Creator responds by exploding away his rock body. This energizes the rest of The Watchers, because "The Creator brings him home!" Another Rock Man explodes.
Even though T-C was standing *on top of* Samyaza and was less than a foot from the epicenter of the blast, he's still alive. He sees that the battle isn't going well and decides to climb up the ramp of the Ark.
More exploding Rock Men. Noah kills a bunch of men trying to get in. More exploding Rock Men until the kind one, Og, is all that's left. He tells Noah goodbye and rips open his chest so he can explode.
With the last angel redeemed, water starts to explode from the earth. (So, they had to be willing to die to protect Noah in order for them to prove that they were worthy of forgiveness? All that time building the Ark didn't prove that? Really?) T-C uses his axe to cut into the Ark. (Which won't be structurally dangerous.) Ham is hiding from his mother and is there when T-C chops through.
Methusaleh finally finds one of those berries he's looking for, eats it with a smile and throws wide his arms to greet the tidal wave of water . Noah is outside the Ark when it is hit by the water. The Ark is completely overrun by water but Noah is able to hold on to a rope against this huge tidal wave (because he has in-human super strength). T-C is able to climb inside the Ark (but the water doesn't flood in after him). The Ark floats. Noah enters the Ark and the door closes behind him.
They have a *fireplace* inside the Ark. Everyone gets to listen to screams of dying people. Ila and Shem want to help some of them, because they can't all be soldiers and there's room. Noah declares that there is no room for them. Scene of people clinging to a mountain/rock while the waves crash. (And no one tries to swim over and climb on board the nearby Ark.)
The family eats and Noah grimly declares that "All that is left of Creation will lie within these walls." Noah tells them the story of creation to help dissipate their anger. The Creation story! (It's actully quite poetic.) Clean and unspoiled Creation. Adam and Eve are glowing creatures! (Plato anyone?) Shadowplay montage of men, armor and weapons -- from ancient to *modern day.*
Noah declares that Creation begins again... but this time without men. "The Creator has judged us. Mankind must end." (Can you all not see that Noah has gone off the rails?!) Noah apologizes to Ham about the girl but it's insufficient and Ham walks away, angry. Noah does not go after him to resolve it.
Ham goes looking for T-C. When T-C asks Ham why he's helping, Ham is ticked at Noah for not saving the girl. T-C convinces him that he wants revenge (in a scene that reminds me of the scene of the snake).
Noah is pensive. Naameh tries to comfort him. "It had to be what He wanted... a world without man. You see that don't you." (So Noah is convincing himself that his insane idea is heavenly mandate. Again, why would the Creator give you warning, etc, if he didn't want you to live? If it was just about the animals. he could just recreate them. After all, The Creator didn't use up all his creating juice with The Beginning.) Naameh doesn't agree. She tries to pull a Samuel and reminds Noah that he respects life and loves his children. (Like that's going to persuade him...) He's been strong, BUT IT'S DONE NOW. He can put that burden down.
T-C helps himself to one of the lizards (he doesn't even bother to kill it, just bites off its head and eats it). Ham is shocked, because there are only 2 of each of them. (Actually, only the unclean animals were in pairs. There were 7 pairs of the clean ones. Animals with split hooves that chew cud -- like a cow -- are clean. Animals with one but not the other -- the camel, the rabbit, the pig -- are unclean and should not be eaten. Birds are clean except for a list that includes birds that feed on other animals -- like eagles, vultures, owls, gulls, storks and herons, bats. Only insects with jointed, four-legged insects are clean. Four-legged animals with paws -- like dogs, lions, leopards, cats, raccoons -- are unclean. So are vermin, lizards, and chameleons.)
Ham declares that all the miracles are for the animals. T-C disagrees. Noah saved the animals but let children die (even though T-C has no problem with killing children if they get in his way) and is humiliating Ham by making him serve the animals. The animals are supposed to serve *them.* (The Bible does say that man is supposed to rule over the animals.) T-C declares that after The Creator made everything else, it wasn't enough. He needed something greater, so He made Man, to take dominion over it all and subdue it. (Nice way to twist things.) Ham eats some of the lizard. (Just like Eve ate the Forbidden Fruit - which wasn't an apple!)
Naameh reads Ila's tea leaves (even though the Bible considers it divination and forbids its practice) and discerns that she is pregnant. (So, wouldn't you conclude that The Creator created this life and wants it to live, because Ila was UNABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN. It's a miracle that is creating more men.) Initially happy, Naameh becomes sad because this logic contradicts Noah's conviction that they all must die!
They (plus Shem) go to tell Noah. He's shocked. Naameh says that she asked Grandfather. Noah moans that it's undermining The Creator!!! (Really? If The Creator didn't want it to happen, it wouldn't.) Naameh says it was to give their children and humanity a future. Noah shakes his wife and declares that all those people died for nothing now! (No, they died to get rid of their evil. You and your family don't have evil thoughts all the time, which is why you were spared.)
Noah has a fit of rage and then runs to the top of the Ark to beg The Creator to not make him do this! (What's this? Well, obviously, he's going to have to kill this abomination. Not that The Creator couldn't make her miscarry or NOT CONCEIVE in the first place. Methusaleh was not more powerful than The Creator. If The Creator didn't want it to happen, it wouldn't.) The Creator doesn't answer and Noah asks 'Why?' Psycho Noah declares that he will not fail The Creator. "It shall be done."
At that moment the rain stops. (Wouldn't that be a signal that the necessary cleansing is done? But Noah takes it as The Creator affirming his craziness.) Everyone else joins Noah outside and Ila says that because the rain has stopped, The Creator is smiling on their child. Noah says the rain stopped, but The Creator is not smiling. (Then the really crazy thinking comes out.) If Ila has a boy, it will live. If it is a girl, she must die.
Shem asks if Noah is crazy! (Yes, yes, he is.) Noah repeats that he will cut a girl down the moment the moment it is born. Ila starts to cry (and it's like Shem isn't even there). Noah walks back into the Ark. (The amount of hubris, man!)
Time jump with Ila being very pregnant. The waters still haven't receded. Japheth's bird -- a crow -- returns (even though it was *Noah* who sent out a *raven* in the Bible) but there's no mud on its feet, so no land. Everyone was hoping that there was land, because Ila and Shem have decided to leave rather than let Noah kill their child. (Shem even made a raft without Noah noticing. Did they really bring those tools on the Ark, since it was *finished*?) Naameh wants them to wait until there's proof of land. Creeper Noah is just waiting for Ila to go into labor, so today it is.
Naameh tells Noah that they'll die out there. Noah replies they won't if they stay. (Don't you want everyone dead? Isn't this just speeding up the cleansing?) Naameh begs Noah to punish her, not them. Noah mutters that the child is not being punished. They are all being punished. (Contradictory logic much? And why do you deserve punishment? Because you have sin? You're not supposed to be Jesus. You're just supposed to be as sinless as possible, rather than have every thought and inclination be evil.) Noah mutters that it's not something he wants to do, but something that he *has* to do. It's painful but it's just.
Naameh asks how it could possibly be just and declares that if Noah does it, he will lose everyone, including her. (Shouldn't that tell you something? Since they all have supported your strange/crazy ideas up to now and this one is just too out here?) Naameh says exactly this -- she has followed Noah everywhere! She was willing to die with him! But this is too much. She'll never forgive him and he'll die alone and hated by everyone. "That is just!" (Jennifer Connelly just rocked that scene.)
T-C spies Ila through his peephole and tells Ham that it's time. Apparently, it's time for *Ham* to kill Noah. (Not T-C, but he knows that Ham doing the killing is going to corrupt him.) T-C declares that man isn't ruled by the heavens but by his *will.* If Ham's a man, he can kill. (Yeah, no.) Ham points out that Noah isn't going to follow him (because Ham is Noah's least favorite, presumably because he's the one who questions things and doesn't seem to think T-C and the others were totally evil), so T-C slits a big animal's throat, spraying Ham with its blood. Again Ham is shocked by this brutality.
Shem and Ila are leaving. Shem tells Naameh not to be afraid. They'll see each other again. Noah appears and glares down at them. Then he tosses a fire bomb and cuts the raft loose -- so they have no escape!!! (While they're on an Ark made of wood.) Shem says that Noah's supposed to be good -- that's why The Creator chose him. (Wow, again Shem is trying to stick to the actual Noah story.) Noah answers that The Creator chose him because he'd finish the job! (So, Noah was chosen because he's not moved by compassion or goodness, but because he's evil, too. Uh, yeah.)
Ila goes into labor. The raft burns. Ila cries and begs Naameh to keep the baby inside her. Shem has a big boat hook to stop Noah from killing his baby. (Yeah - do you not see how you're wrong? You're going to force Shem to kill. A good parent does what they must to protect their children. Shem is being a good parent.) Noah looks like he's planning on killing Shem now, too.
Ham yells up at them that the animals are awake and are eating each other. (So you expect us to believe that a smoke powerful to knock the animals out for *10 months* wasn't going to knock the humans out? And the animals survived sleeping *without eating or drinking* for all that time? Come on.) Noah follows Ham and declares that it's not possible for the animals to have awoken without their help.
They reach the dead animal. (No animal is eating it, even though that's what Ham said they were doing, and Noah doesn't suspect anything.) It's a weird animal that kind of looks like a dinosaur. (I guess that's why they dinosaurs went extinct. They were either too big for the Ark or one of the mates died during the flood. Mystery solved!) Tubal-Cain jumps out and tries to kill Noah. Ham has his knife ready, too. (Et tu, Ham?)
A pause in the action and Noah declares "The line of Cain." (He looks like he's confused that the person who is TRYING TO KILL HIM isn't from the line of Seth. Because it's the line of Seth who are the murderers.)
Ila gives birth. Naameh doesn't have to cut the cord and misses whether the baby is a girl or not. (Wouldn't you be looking for that, since the baby's survival depends on its sex?) Ila starts screaming again -- twins. (G-pa must have been super powerful OR The Creator wants the Line of Seth TO LIVE.) Naameh sadly declares that the babies are sisters and Shem vows that Noah will not touch their daughters! Shem goes off to kill Noah.
T-C is going to finish it when suddenly, they hit dry land. (Where's the dove with the olive leaf?) This tosses everyone violently. (T-C and Noah are thrown the width of the Ark and Shem falls from the second story, but they're all okay.) The impact puts a hole in the Ark and T-C is trapped under the wreckage. (Somehow, Noah escaped this, even though he was *closer* to the side with the now hole.) Noah declares that "the evils of mankind will not live in this new Eden." He's about to kill T-C when Shem starts wailing on him. T-C knocks Shem out, because Noah is his!
T-C pins Noah down and declares that the Ark, the animals and ALL THEIR WOMEN are now his! He will build the world in His Image! He's going to club Noah to death (where did he get the rock on a ship made of wood?) but is stopped when Ham stabs him. T-C glares at him. Ham is horrified. T-C PULLS OUT THE SNAKE SKIN and tells Ham that he's a man now. He gives Ham the skin. (Why did he just happen to be carrying the skin? How is it still pristine after 500 years of being carried in his pocket?) T-C finally dies. (Not from getting blown up but from being stabbed in his arm pit on his right side. Of course, he had different anatomy...)
Noah picks up T-C's knife and declares that The Creator has not forgotten them! (Which is why you just struck land, stupid.) Noah starts to go kill those babies. He stops when Ham says, "Her name was Na'el. She was innocent. She was good!" Noah hurries to finish his task!
Naameh lies and says that it's a boy. (Which is why Shem attacked Noah, because Noah threatened to kill a *boy* baby.) Ila isn't in the birthing tent. The crying babies give Ila's location away. Naameh weeps and says that the babies are beautiful and Noah picks up on the 'they.' She gasps that He sent them what they need (which is Noah's line, but only when it justifies what Noah wants). Noah climbs up to the top of the Ark. (Naameh just stands there and screams 'No!" instead of climbing up after him. and even though she's just gone through one of the quickest labors ever for a first time mother, Ila is fine standing there.)
Ila begs him not to kill them and Noah declares that he will not be stopped! She doesn't move. The babies are crying and Ila at least wants them to be calm and at peace before they are murdered. Ila sings to them the song Noah sang to her. Naameh arrives on the roof. The babies stop crying. Noah wants Ila to turn away but she won't do it.
Noah raises his knife... and kisses the girls instead. Ila cries. Noah limps away and looks up at the sky. He declares that he cannot do it and drops the knife. Shem finally arrives. Noah climbs back into the Ark. The dove arrives with the olive branch as momentous music plays. Noah sits and looks defeated.
Switch to dry land. Grapes. Melancholy music. Noah is in a cave by the shore, drunk (but not naked and not in a tent). More drinking! The rest of the family is back by the Ark with their new settlement being built. Ham is just watching, not helping. He goes and finds Noah passed out, naked. Shem and Japheth arrive right after him and just happen to have a cloak to cover Noah. (In the Bible, Ham finds him but reports it to his brothers, who then walk in backwards and cover Noah while not looking.) Noah stirs and Ham looks at the pouch with the snake skin. Ham tosses it at Noah and walks away. Noah weeps.
Ham is leaving. Ila tells him not to go but Ham says he doesn't belong there. Noah approaches Ila later. She asks if Ham will come back and Noah replies that "Some things cannot be unbroken." (Especially if you never admit you were wrong or apologize.) She asks why Noah spared the girls. He says that when he looked at them, all he had in his heart was love. Ila asks why Noah's alone, then? He says it's because he failed The Creator and all of them.
Ila proceeds to explain that Noah is wrong. God chose Noah because he wouldn't look away. But also because he would see the goodness, too. The choice was there, because The Creator gave it to him. He asked Noah to decide if they were worth saving and Noah chose mercy and love.
Noah returns to Naameh while she is tilling the ground. He helps and their hands touch. (I roll my eyes.) He kisses her forehead and she cries. They embrace and she cries. (Where is his apology?!!!) She laughs. The family is reunited. Noah does the Line of Seth ritual (even though his father died when he was about 10 -- I guess G-pa taught him, even though the snakeskin was gone.)
At the end of the ceremony, The Creator sends a rainbow-colored pulsar from the sun to say that he approves. (It just magically appears on a lovely cloudless day. The light doesn't need to refract off of water droplets or anything...) Triumphant music as the camera pans out.
For more discussion on the ways that Noah strays from the Bible, go here.
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